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Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Best Way to Sneak Another Horse Into Home

Ok I just had to post this from Twitter.... [IceHorses]

How To Sneak Another Horse Home Judy Ryder
[IceHorses] How To Sneak Another Horse Home

Judy RyderFri, 14 Dec 2007 13:35:54 -0800


14. Move the fish to the cellar, the goats to the kitchen, the uncle
to the sofa and the dogs to the barn. Rotate weekly. Add a horse
to the mix on the fifth week. Stop the rotation when the horse gets
to the barn. Confused but grateful spouse won't question further.

13. Tell your spouse that "Ed" is here to repair the cable.

12. "This? This isn't a horse. This is a Common Black-Throated
Northern Debt-Precursor."

11. Organize a clandestine Equine Underground Pipeline. Connect to
breeders and trainers across several states.

10. Throw a hundred-dollar bill behind the couch. Yell, "Fetch!"
While the family members are fighting it out, you can sneak anything
(up to and including a troop of Marines) up the drive, past the
house and into the paddock.

9. Blame El Nino: The new horse washed in at high tide.

8. Wait for Halloween. Dress the new horse in a bad horse costume
and march him right into the barn.

7. Swear it's your best friend's new horse, come to live here only
until she breaks the news to her husband. Meanwhile, Sue can be
pulling the same trick in your name at her house.

6. Start housing the kids out in the barn to explain your long
absences from the house and your frequent comings and goings.

5. Have UPS deliver the new horse in several separate boxes over a
period of several days.

4. Big collar. Dog tags. Poodle trim. Insist on calling the new
mare AKC Fantasyland's FiFi Splendiphoria.

3. Sneak horse in at midnight. Return to house wearing only a
trench coat and negligee. Confess untruthfully to a lesser
offense: having a torrid affair with the hay man.

2. Don't buy another horse. Join the German Exchange Program; you
feed, house and culturally broaden the horizons of young German-born
Hanoverian for two years. (You have to mail the neighbor's elderly
pony Stuey off to Hannover for the 'exchange' part)

And the best way to sneak another horse into the home is:

1. "This horse isn't ours, dear. He says he's on a scavenger hunt
and has to find two suckers with a checkbook."

" Life is like shoveling manure........ just when you think your getting
ahead... there's always another pile"
[IceHorses] How To Sneak Another Horse Home Judy Ryder
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